And, well…your voice.
True story: In the 1980s, rock legend Bruce Springsteen had his voice insured for a whopping $6 million. In the event that he can’t belt out “Born in the U.S.A.” any longer, whatever shall he do? He’ll be comforted by a seven-figure payout, that’s what.
As ridiculous as it sounds, Springsteen’s grand gesture illustrates the lengths to which some individuals will go to put in place a safety net for their valuables. From companies that need protection against good lottery fortune to contingency plans for laughter gone wrong, insurance has taken some really, really weird forms over the years.
Care to pay the premium for these?
A Ludicrously Expensive Mustache
In the 1990s, Australian cricket player Merv Hughes had this bit of body hair insured for a whopping $370,000. His reasoning? No harm should ever befall his handlebar mustache, but in case some tragedy happens, Hughes will collect a handsome payout.
A Policy for Death by Laughter (Seriously!)
What if the phrase “die laughing” becomes literal? Lloyd’s of London has this situation covered. Apparently, the insurance company has a policy in place for a certain comedy troupe in case an audience member dies from laughter during a performance.
Insurance in the Event of a Huge Win? Sure!
Not all insurance payouts are made in the aftermath of tragedy. The American version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” has a policy in place for the scenario of a contestant winning. If they’re doling out a million bucks, they get a sizable payoff.
Alien Abduction Insurance
Just in case your worst fears come to pass—that is, being abducted by aliens who are running behind on a science project—fret not. Go get yourself some alien abduction insurance. That way, if you somehow make it back safely to this green planet, you can collect $1 a year…for one million years.
Need Protection Against Falling Coconuts? Here You Go!
Attention, devoted beachgoers: Coconuts can be lethal. Imagine getting conked on the head by one of those falling things, and you’ll understand this hazard. This was the thinking espoused by a U.K. travel company that took out injury insurance to be doled out in case coconut-triggered catastrophes occur. (It paid out a vacationer in Sri Lanka, who thankfully managed to survive.)
Lottery Insurance Coverage (aka Invoke in Case of Jackpot)
No employer can ever predict what fortune will befall employees trying their luck at the lottery. If your workers win the jackpot and decide to up and ditch their jobs, what then? To protect your business from this unfortunate(?) event, Lloyd’s of London offers lottery insurance coverage.
More Expensive Hair
Think Merv Hughes is the only individual whose body hair is insured? Think again! Tom Jones’ iconic chest hair is allegedly worth $7 million, Brady White (aka Macy’s Santa Claus) has his beard covered by insurance, and former strong safety Troy Polamalu took out a policy on his curly mane after signing an endorsement deal with Head and Shoulders.
This Is NOT Some Ordinary Racehorse Insurance
Insurance policies for racehorses? That’s a no-brainer. A policy on horses’ erectile dysfunction? Stop the presses!
A Policy That May or May Not Be Divinely Inspired
In the city of Inverness, Scotland, three sisters took out a policy to cover them in the event that they immaculately conceive Christ during His second coming. (We have no other words for this.)
A Mythical Insurance Claim (It’s Not Gonna Happen, Folks)
The Cutty Sark Company has put up a prize of $1.5 million for anyone who can find (and painstakingly verify) the existence of the Loch Ness Monster. What if someone succeeds in this endeavor? Not to worry: Cutty Sark has insurance to cover it in the event of a Loch Ness discovery and prize payout.
J.Lo Took Out Insurance for What?
Care to get to the bottom of this? Rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez has her buttocks insured for $27 million. Love doesn’t cost a thing, but perhaps J.Lo’s posterior does.
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A $30-Million-Dollar Smile
Here’s another piece of celebrity gossip: Julia Roberts (yes, the Pretty Woman herself) supposedly has her smile insured for $30 million!
In 2001, insurance provider Ultraviolet had a field day when it issued over 500 policies for its special Spooksafe offer. The terms of this policy? Get compensated in case you’re attacked by ghosts, poltergeists, and other bizarre beings.
Coverage Against Fanged Terrors? Get It Right Here!
Speaking of bizarre, a British company provides insurance coverage against vampire and werewolf assault (because you never know what lurks in the shadows when the full moon is out).
Unreal Insurance (In Case the Undead Rise)
Since we’re talking about ghosts, werewolves, and vampires, how can we not prepare for the full might of zombies? Over in the U.K., a company provides coverage to help you mitigate the destructive impact of a zombie apocalypse. Yeah, good luck with that.